W e l c o m e
One of the greatest tragedies in life in that you will always be loved more than you will ever know.
Someone in your class finds your presence inviting and warm, even if you've only exchanged a few words with them, or maybe none at all. Someone on the street loves your smile and it brightens their path for the next few blocks.
-Someone you used to be friends with still wishes to fondly call your name. Even someone you were friends with five years ago would give anything to be in the same room as you today.
Someone who regularly comes into work is disappointed when you aren't there to brighten their day. Someone missed you today. Someone noticed when you were gone. Someone loves you when you are there. Someone loves you when you are nowhere to be found at all. You may think you have always disappeared when you're no longer in the picture, but you never left the frame.
- Alan Watts
- s c r o l l to r e a d -
8:32PM
a wound is poked, prodded, and exposed to the light. The process of healing has taken so long that I've forgotten the true depth of it all. Instinctual shock is quickly entangled with bewilderment. I'm soon possessed by false realties.. ones that encompass all the parallel possibilities that float beyond this one timeline. Can colliding forces form an ethereal flow, or are they doomed to their oppugnant cycles? I've since learned that opposing feelings can remain true and constant at the same time.
- Prompt 15 -
I lie to myself about everything honestly. I'm an incredibly anxious person, so I'm always telling myself that something is wrong. It makes it hard for me to trust myself or others at times due
to me questioning what could and couldn't happen with every second that goes by. What if they hate me? What if I do something wrong? What if I get sick? What if someone hurts me? What if I die? What if I'm not ready? Sometimes these irrational thoughts feel strong enough to seem true, which often makes it difficult for me to feel confident or comfortable. BUT! I have worked on this intensely to get to a point where I can go places and do things that absolutely terrified me before. Some days are easier than others, but I give it my best.
C l o s e n e s s
I miss the sisterhood and deep meanings that are created in a close friendship. I miss the understanding of community and how sharing things amongst each other was this deep sign of affection and love. I miss how sacred a tube of chapstick felt when it became communal between just us. I miss the degree of pampering and the sharing of sweet and soft smelling things on weekend getaways. These communal items sit aorund me holding the last remains of a once nurtured bond. Soon they will expire, if not already - who knows when I'll find the motivation to throw them in the bin. Weeks? Months? Years? I could hold on a little longer just so I can get every last drop of those memories before saying goodbye.
- Prompt 2 -
The transition from being a teenager to a young adult is complex and requires so much attention. Not only am I learning the basics on how to survive this starved world, but I'm also learning the cost of certain actions. Some decisions I once made with intentions of betterment have now morphed into acts of complicated regret. I'm learning how to carry the weight of this in a way that is comfortable enough to keep moving. Acceptance walks hand-in-hand with this overbearing weight.
R e f l e c t i o n
Guilt feeds on me like a starved animal. Neglected and pushed aside, I can feel its snarling teeth bite down harder with every subtle movement I make. I plead for mercy, but in the same
hoarse breath I know I have done this to myself. What could heal these wounds?
F e b r u u s
I still read your horoscope to see how the universe has been treating you. Sometimes it gives me peace of mind that you're living in abundance and grace. Even through the chaos of mixed emotions, I still find the space to wish you peace. I see spirit is trying to tell you something,
but do you hear it?
P i n k & W h i t e
Do you still think of me the way I think of you? Is it the same complex feelings that leaves you longing for other outcomes too, or am I strictly pushed back into the furthest depths of your conscious? Those last bits of your essence still haunt my room, I replay the memories of us in every square inch. Love and hurt are on full display here, flaunting in front of me always. A sentimental creation of interest hangs on my wall to this day, irreplaceable and meaningful.
D i s j e c t i o n
A lost ship in the unforgiving sea, I was your source of connection. A beacon of light guiding you to share hope of growth and understanding. Even in the darkest of times times, I still signal that my remote shores are refuge for recollection.
R i b s
Like songbirds of the same note and power, crisp and cool air pours in and devours. Tangled hair and racing lights, our ribs tough from the laughter all night. We knew all the words like we wrote it ourselves, replacing meanings with our own. Late night car rides just aren't the same alone. It feels so scary getting old.
E v a n e s c e n c e
Overwhelmed and exhausted, you gave me refuge when I lost it.
Alone with my thoughts, I step inside where it's nice and hot.
Soft and sweet, your herbal essence is rejuventating eucalyptus.
Cleansed and replenished, you asked me if I needed anything else.
I said I didn't.
L i z -- I'd pick up next time.
Fragile and scared, how could I compared to your courageous soul? I smiled when you would
take control and show me it wasn't so bad after all. You taught me how to live, how to give. But I still couldn't pick up the phone when spending too much time alone.
