Click Here to Time Travel:
2023  -  2024



April 1, 2025 5:37PM
Feeling: silly goofy ψ(◣_◢)ψ
Songs: Ke$ha - Backstabber & Miley Cyrus - Slide Away

"Move on, we're not 17
I'm not who I used to be
You say that everything changed
You're right, we're grown now
So won't you slide away"


When you think you know a person; I guess things haven't changed after all.

Feeling content with life, but at the same time I'm very nervous about my volunteer shift tomorrow morning. This will be my fourth week volunteering as a crisis counselor and last week I had my first flagged conversation with a Texter that was experiencing severe suicidal and self harming thoughts, which was a lot to take in. As soon as I connected with them they had told me what they were feeling and experiencing, which immediately called for a safety assessment. Usually people answer no to my safety assessment questions, but this time the Texter said yes to having suicidal thoughts and acts of self harm, resulting in me flagging the conversation and contacting my supervisor for support. Shortly after, the Texter had suddenly disconnected and ended the conversation before I could move on to the next step in the protocol. I'm pretty used to Texters suddenly disconnecting whether it be due to recieving the help they need, they can't talk right now, or they aren't recieving the help they are looking for and just move on - so my feeling weren't hurt when the flagged Texter has disconnected, I was honestly relieved because I truly didn't know what to say or do to help this person navigate the turmoil they were experiencing.

To help me feel more prepared for tomorrow's shift I decided to look up tips and techniques used to assist someone with navigating a crisis, which ended up helping a ton. Thankfully I only need four hours of volunteer work a week, so tomorrow I can do two hours and then Thursday I'll do another two. Even though I am scared and this feels way bigger than me, I'm trying to keep a mindset that this is all good for me because it is setting me up for my career as a real mental health counselor. One step and one day at a time (-:

Outside of the anxiety I feel towards my work, I've been doing a lot! With the weather feeling more lively I decided to get back into journaling and making art. I'm currently working on this page dedicated to my friendship with Tori. I'm channeling Y2K indie pop vibes, so it's very colorful and nostalgic! I painted little figures of us too, so our beautiful youth will be documented forever lol I plan on doing a 2000s MySpace-inspired questionaire survey (like the ones I filled out here) on the pages so we can both fill it out and look back at it YEARS from now. If you haven't realized already, I am a very nostalgic and sentimenal person (｡◕‿◕｡) but I'm really excited to finish this little project and finally show Tori!!!

That is all for now - talk soon!
byee!!






March 24, 2025 7:18AM
Feeling: happy & content ヽ(=^･ω･^=)丿
Songs: BETWEEN FRIENDS - American Bitch & Brittany Broski - Adore You (cover)

Howdy there partner! From where I am spring has sprung and I am finally feeling alive. I'm thawing out and getting the color back in my skin - I feel rejuvinated, like the sun has been cleansing my soul.

I just finished spring break and UGH I wish it didn't end!! I spent a lot of the break at my boyfriend's house just relaxing. Corey got us a couples hand casting mold kit for valentine's day, so we finally got around to doing that early on into the break. The process was messy, but really fun - highly recommend!
We also went to the beach with a few of our friends! We had a little bit of a rough start due to the weather being so foggy and cloudy, but as the day progressed we started getting way more sunshine. Our friends had the best idea to bring a mini grill so we could cook up some fajitas - so yummy!! Tori brought cornhole for us to play, which was soooo much fun omggg!! We eventually ended up leaving kind of early because the beach was getting really crowded, so we took our little party back to Corey's house where we cooked dinner, listened to music, and played games ヽ(^□^｡)ノ was a very good time and I need more of it immediately!!

Soon after our beach day ended Tori and I made plans for our little group to go to a local food festival early next month! We're also wanting to go to the movies afterwards to see the new Minecraft movie, which I do not have high expectations for but I think we'll still really enjoy it for what it is (∪ ◡ ∪) very excited to dress up and take lots of pictures and try new food!! I hope I get a corndog or somethin' at some point mmmm

With spring break ending, my responsibilities come back into full frame. Early mornings spent getting my little sister ready for school, my lunch time filled with various conversations with hotline texters, and my evenings consumed by the scramble of prepping for the next day and trying to find the next best thing to help me unwind, usually Corey. I may make it sound mundane, but I wouldn't trade this life for anything - I am the happiest I have ever been (so far).

Byeeeee!
xoxoxo





February 19, 2025 11:01AM
Feeling: productive
Songs: Hannah Montana - Que Sera & God Lives Underwater - From Your Mouth

Hello!! Life has seemed to slow down enough for me to type something up ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ
In my last post I had mentioned becoming a volunteer crisis counselor - well, I just finished training and I'm VERY nervous to start the actual work of connecting with people and helping them. Talking in person is much simpler than texting, so I'm worried about how I'll manage the conversation. I have to follow various protocols for certain topics and it's just a lot to remember. I keep reminding myself that I, nor anyone else, is expecting me to be perfect the first few times. I need to make peace with the discomfort and uncertainty.

In addition to starting the volunteer work, I just submitted my application to that master's program again and I'm feelin much more confident compared to last time, but still very nervous. It's scary putting myself out there for someone to critique and determine if I'm suitable, but I understand it's part of the process of getting places.

Valentine's Day just passed and I had suuuchhh a wonderful time! From thursday to sunday I celebrated with Corey and some of our friends. On thursday, Corey and I went with our friends Bryan and Tori to go to the after hours event at Meow Wolf. I had never been to an art exhibit like this before, so it was a very wild experience ٩(θ‿θ)۶ There was a club in the middle of the place and I couldn't help but dance everytime we passed through it while traversing through the maze of rooms. There was also a realllly cool rustic biker bar inside where we all got to take photo booth pics! so CUTE! Ya know, I've been contemplating if I should make a page for sharing various photos... we'll have to see lol

For Valentine's day on friday, Corey and I exchanged gifts, cooked dinner, watched The Notebook, and built a lego set. I got him a cute monkey to go with the gorilla I bought him last year, a bamboo plant lego set, deck of cards that he's been mentioned for weeks, and some candy! He got me a planter with succulents in it, a molding kit thing where you make a sentimental object out of cement, a sweet card with a love letter inside, and an expansion pack for the jar of little notes he made me last year. The notes are color coded, so if I'm feeling sad I pull a blue one and so on. VERY SWEET - I CRIED A LOT! Corey and I both cried like babies when we finished The Notebook. We both were playing it cool, but that ending... UGH!!! On saturday we went to a pottery place to paint each other a valentine's gift - I painted him a mug that looks like a glass of beer since Corey loves his beer! He painted me a vase that has the spongebob sky on it with the colorful flower clouds! He did such a good job, I'm so excited to see what the final product looks like in a few weeks! We spent the rest of the weekend just hanging out together (｡◕‿◕｡)

Some upcoming events! This weekend I'm going thrifting with Tori and perhaps getting some things for our barbie costumes for the Barbie Party happening on March 1st! So basically, I think I had briefly mentioned having a barbie movie night to the group chat with all the girls in the friend group. Those plans adjusted and morphed into throwing a barbie themed party for Laurel's husband Tanner's birthday - the girlies will be barbies and the guys will be kens (/^▽^)/ I can't wait to wear all pink!

Bye for now,
xoxox Tay






January 28, 2025 6:02PM
Feeling: so happy!! ヽ(^◇^*)/
Songs: TV Girl - Everything Blue & After - The Element

GOOD NEWS!!!!!

I just got an email from the text hotline I applied to and......I'VE BEEN ACCEPTED!!! AHHHH!!
I'm very nervous because it's something new and out of my comfort zone. I worry that maybe I won't know what to say to help someone, or what if I say the wrong thing? But there is a 15 hr training I have to do before I become a full-on counselor, so I'll def be learning how to maneuver things. I also have to remind myself that human connection through conversation is a huge key to helping others. Some people just need to vent and feel heard (-: I'm extremely thankful for this opportunity because it gives me a chance to learn more about mental health, how to communicate with others about it, and how to approach those who are potentially in a crisis. It's work that will set me up for the future ᵔᴥᵔ

Life has been so busy lately! My mom went on another business trip so I've occupied with taking care of the house, the dogs/cats, and my little sister more than usual. I have plans with Bryce, Mark, Korrin, and Kiersten tomorrow, which I'm SUPER excited about because we all haven't been together since high school (like 6 years ago)!!!! On thursday I'm going to a fancy steakhouse with my boyfriend, Corey, to celebrate his birthday - He's gonna be 24! Then on friday I might have plans with another friend AHH! THEN on saturday Corey and I are meeting up with the friend group at a karaoke bar to further celebrate Corey's birthday ٩(๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑)۶ I CANT WAIT!!!


I've been so obsessed with watching Hannah Montana recently omggg it has taken over my life!! It's been fueling my Miley Cyrus addiction significantly. I'm on S2 E16 - the one with the Jonas Brothers & omggg I forgot how much I LOVED them! and I realized how genuinely funny some parts of the show are! With the recent Billy Ray Cyrus mess going on, it is sad seeing him as a fun and supportive father in the show. I get random flash backs of that inauguration performance he did... big YIKES!!!

That's all for now,
bye!!





January 24, 2025 9:24AM
Feeling: sleepy
Songs: Mac Miller - Stoned & SZA - 20 Something

“And the water, it’s shallow like the lies that she tells
Can’t run from your shadow, can’t hide from yourself
She hates when she cries when she’s all by herself
and she’s always all by herself
She hardly talks in conversation
But, but when she do
All her words get lost in translation
No, she can’t move
‘Cause she’s paralyzed from fear that she fantasize.”
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Hello hello! I hope you’re doing well (:

To be honest, I could be doing a bit better. This seasonal depression is kicking my butt and making it real hard to get out of bed in the morning. But we prevail!!!

Did you get snow this season?? It was a fairly warm winter this year, but we did get a few inches of snow and a deep freeze that is kind of not normal for where I live. I’ve always talked about living in Wisconsin or Michigan with my family, but then I think about having to drive in the snow - scary!! ヾ(｡ꏿ﹏ꏿ)ﾉﾞ Even though it was super icy out on the roads, Corey and his dad picked me up so I could spend the snow day with my man! We built a derpy looking snowman and threw a few snowballs at each other. His dog Katy LOVED the snow omg she got the old lady zoomies!!!

Been playing a lot of Stardew Valley with the friend group (-: it’s been so much fun making goofy characters! Tori, Laurel, and I are all hyper focused on romancing our desired characters and it’s hilarious that our boyfriend’s team up to brainstorm how they’re gonna ruin our chances. Corey keeps saying he’s gonna break Sebastian’s legs so that he can’t do the spring dance with me (≧◡≦) since getting my new pc, I've also been playing a TON of sims 4! My little sister was hanging out in my room the other day and ended up just watching me play (-: she thinks it's so cool! I've been letting her play after I pick her up from school, she really likes creating and dressing up her sims like it's virtual barbies

I submitted an application to become a volunteer crisis counselor for this text hotline a few weeks ago and I still haven't heard much back. I really hope I get accepted so I can gain some experience and have somethin' good to put on my resume! Hopefully I hear something soon

In other news, Mac Miller’s new posthumous album “Balloonerism” is incredible. I’ve been listening to it constantly since it came out! I definitely feel like I’m listening to some things that I maybe shouldn’t be, like his lyrics are very raw and vulnerable so would he really want us to listen to all that? But at the same time, those vulnerable moments resonate the most with me. My favorite songs from the album are Stoned, Mrs. Deborah Downer, Funny Papers, Manakins, and Tomorrow Will Never Know.

Some upcoming things:
- Reapply to master’s program
- Get oil changed in my car
- Deep clean my room/donate things
- Schedule eye exam/new glasses & contacts
- Download CC for the sims 4

Anywhoo, I hope you're safe and doing well wherever you are!
byeeeeeee xoxox





January 3, 2025 10:40AM
Feeling: lazy, but very happy •ᴥ•
Songs: Dexter and The Moonrocks - Messed Up Kid (live cover) & Lash - Take Me Away (from Freaky Friday)
Honorable mention: Billie Eilish - Therefore I Am

Hello new blog page, lookin' cute!!!!

Happy New Year Everyone!! I hope you all had a fun, happy, and safe transition into the new year (-: I'm currently typing this from my brand new PC that my boyfriend and his dad got me for christmas AHHHHHH!!! So beyond grateful oh my GOD!! I can finally use all of my pc gear, like my pink keyboard and mouse! I think this gift and getting my new Doc Marten boots were my top favorites this year, I'm a little scared to break in the boots though ヾ(｡ꏿ﹏ꏿ)/ﾞ it's my first pair of docs and I've heard horror stories of people not wear enough cushion and ended up getting crazy blisters! Christmas was really good this year, I had several dinners and gift exchanges going on which felt a little hectic, but I really enjoyed being with everyone. My aunt and uncle got sick on christmas eve, so I'm bummed I couldn't spend time with them BUT they did drop off gifts and my aunt got me a tiny travel size tarot deck keychain - AHH HOW CUTE!!

Speaking of tarot, I did end up doing all of my last minute christmas/end of the year traditions, like doing my Year-Ahead tarot speard which I will display below! I also watched the Santa Clause movies and saw christmas lights with Corey , which was just as fun and magical as last year ♥ the holidays are extra special with him in my life now (I will never miss a moment to obsess over my man, he is my world!)

New Years was super fun! Corey and I went to a little party with our friends ヽ(^□^｡)ノ had lots of sangria, laughs, and took too many pictures lol We exchanged our secret santa gifts, it was fun seeing our friends open up everything ♥ Corey got a drum key and a funny shirt! I got a really cute scarf that I've been eye-balling! I got our friend Bryan a fun murder mystery game! It was so nice hanging out with everyone, it's hard planning things due to work and other responsibilities amongst everyone. Bryan and Tori almost didn't make it due to some ridiculous work stuff, BUT thank god they were able to pull through cause I missed Tori SO MUCH!!! That's my girl!!! Having our girlie trio of me, Tori, and Laurel was perfect to bring in the new year - I love my girls ♥ the sucky part was how early I felt like Corey and I left, which was 1AM. We were able to present our Sopranos in Minecraft powerpoint (the theme was 2024 hyperfixations) first, but couldn't stay to watch everyone else go because we had scheduled an Uber ride home before the party. That uber ride was kind of 35 mins of hell due to how much I had drank that night, I just quietly sat there counting down the miles and minutes until we were home. As soon as we got out of the car I got sick on the side of the drive way for like two seconds. Corey was shocked and said it was "gangster" how I didn't get sick in the uber LMAO one thing I did learn from my night of fun and recovery is that LA Colors Gel Eyeliner holds up through A LOT! My eyeliner was still perfectly fine after going through what felt like war lol thankfully after some Liquid IV and sun shrine on my skin I was back to normal :-P

- Tarot Readings for 2025 -
*Year Ahead Spread (1-12 represent months)
1. Nine of Cups (reversed)
2. Father of Wands
3. Eight of Swords
4. six of wands
5. Judgement (reversed)
6. Death
7. Mother of Cups (reversed)
8. The Emperor
9. Daughter of Pentacles (reversed)
10. Five of Wands
11. Three of Pentacles (reversed)
12. The Devil (reversed)
Ace of Wands (reversed) (Overall Theme)

*Who I Was, Am, & Will Be Spread
Death / Ten of Cups (reversed) / Daughter of Cups (reversed)


xoxo,
   Tay