I don't know how or when it happened, but The 1975 is rapidly taking over my life AGAIN. I can't tell if this is a good or bad thing.... help? Anyways, hope you're doing well (-: life has been really good lately! I hung out with my best friend Mark yesterday and ugh it was much needed. I don't get to see them as often as I would like, so I really soak in our time together. Since it's spooky season we decided to hang out at my house and watch Scary Movies 2 and 3! OMG the amount of messed up jokes in them is insane, but was still pretty funny. I learned that Mark hasn't seen any stoner comedies, so we're now on a mission to watch the other scary movies as well as stuff like Dude, Where's My Car?, Harold and Kumar, and Jay & Silent Bob! I'm always watching all sorts of stuff, so I'm excited to show off all the random funny films I know.

Some things on the agenda - tomorrow is my sister's birthday!! We're going to be celebrating our birthdays together this weekend with some family and friends. On Friday I'm going to go out with Corey and some of our friends to a karaoke bar to celebrate my birthday a little bit! I'm not sure what I'll be doing for my actual birthday since it lands on a weekday, boooooo! And lastly, Corey and I are going to the Renaissance Festival with a handful of our friend early next month!!! omg as soon as we got the invite i was online shopping for my costume. I already own elf ears, so Corey and I decided to be little wood elves (-,: so cute!

I bought a belt that has three potion slots, so I got some supplies to make cool potions like mermaid tears, vampire blood, etc. I love getting crafty, so I'm really excited to put some lore and detail into my costume! I'm even more excited to be getting all dolled up with my bestie Tori AHHH!!! I immediately texted her about going and we exchanged our outfit plans UGH I love her! I can't wait to take all sorts of cute picture omg im gonna SCREAMMMM!!1!!

The weather is starting to change, thank GOD! I may be a southern belle, but I am not meant for the heat - no ma'am! Along with this change in weather is a change in my ViBeS (i feel like a dork saying that, but what else do I call it, ya know???). UGh the smiths, turnover, fleetwood mac, mazzy star, TV girl - it's all just hitting in a differnt way during this time of year. The leaves are crunchy, theres a subtle cool breeze at night, I can wear layers comfortably, and pumpkin pies are everywhere - now that's one of the best time of the year. It's also the time of the year for my birthday, so I'm a little biased.

Last thing before I go - I haven't heard back from my master's program yet, but I'm still holding a lot of confidence that I'll be accepted! A member of the board had told me that results will be sent out late october through early november, so I just need to be patient (i suck at it tbh).

Okay bye for now,
   Tay xoxox

I'm currently watching Alice Through the Looking Glass while writing this (-: I'm obsessed with anything related to Alice in Wonderland ahhhhh! Anyways, boy do I have some things to share!! To start, I went to the Remi Wolf concert with Corey and OH MY GOD it was so much fun! The opener was Slimdan and we loved them! Super funny, played arvil lavigne for a minute, and had some really cool songs! I will admit that although my outfit looked HOT, the gogo boots I wore were not the best idea. We got to the venue sooo early so we could get close to the stage, but that also meant standing around for several hours. I kept shifting from one foot to the other, but it still hurt so badddd!! Eventually Remi came out and I was able to forget about my feet for maybe an hour. She had us do goofy bits and excercises/moves to get us hyped - it was a lot of fun! This was my second time seeing her, so I was curious how she would make the show just as or more crazy than the last one. The first time I saw her she had a super cute stage setup with fun graphics, as well as bubbles flying everywhere during some songs! Probably the best show I've ever been to just cause it was such a magical experience. Well, this time around the stage wasn't decorated, but it was def giving rockstar energy - the lighting was everything omg! Her band got bigger too!! So many people doing funky things!

Half way through Remi's set she did a cover of Life is a Highway!! So fun, so cool! I'm so happy I got to see her play her songs Wave, Prescription, and Pitiful - I'm still replaying each song in my head like a movie. I can't believe we were sooooo close to the stage too! As soon as Remi came out I held back so many tears ugh she is my idol (-,: her and her music have made so many moments in my life a x100000 more special.

Towards the end of her set I started realizing how bad my feet were, so I unfortunately had to make the executive decision to leave before the last two songs and the encore so Corey and I could beat the crowd and go home. My pink toe was NUMB! it was also getting a little too hot and overstimulating for the both of us, so it was the best call at the end of the day ))-: still BUMMED though! I did end up getting an adorable remi wolf tiny top that says "dumb snow bunny" on it with a little rabbit - it will now be my whole identity for the next few months lol

That's all for now!
byeee xoxox

Hello again! I hope you're doing well (-:

I'm doing pretty good myself. I can't believe it's September already!! This year has gone by so fast, which is both nice and scary. I don't want my days flying by like that forever. Anyways, this past weekend slowed down perfectly when I spent a few days at my boyfriend's house! I came over friday, had some drinks and played minecraft with our friends Bryan and Tori (I love Tori, she is so much fun ahhh!!!) on saturday, and then sunday I left to go home later in the evening. I honestly left feeling like those three days weren't enough, like I could've gone maybe a week with him at this point. We already see each other every day pretty much and I'm always at his house (it's so cozy and fun there). Monday/Yesterday was our one year anniversary, so I got all dolled up and we went out to eat for lunch and then went to the movie theater to see Alien Romulus!! I really like the Alien series, so I was super excited to see Romulus. Definitely a little spooky scary in some parts and lots of gore, which I kinda love lol

We also exchanged gifts and OH MY GOD this man makes all my wishes and desires comes true!!! The first thing he got me was a keychain pepper spray because at some point recently I had brought up how I used to have some self defense stabby things and pepper spray on my keys, but I had to throw them away at a concert a while back due to their security policies (I'm just a girl wtfffff!!!). He's always making note of the things I need, which leads us to the next gift! He had noticed that I don't have a big make up bag to hold all of my things, so he got me the CUTEST holographic three tier bag!!! The other gift he bought me was a pack of these tie-dye/acid wash patterned leggings that have been on my wishlist since forever! He always gets me the stuff that I've been eyeing for so long, like the black platform maryjanes he got for either my birthday or christmas (can't remember). The last two gifts he got me were more handmade/diy things. The first was a wooden box with "Mystery Box of Dates" written all over it lol it was filled with little slips of paper with date ideas on them!!! He let me read a few and they said "In n Out" "Stargazing" "Sweet Treats!" "Shopping Trip" AHHHHH I LOVE HIM!!!!! He also gave me a jar with similar slips of paper inside and a color code key taped to the side showing which colored slips of paper correspond to a moode (ex: pick a color for when you're feeling: blue - sad, purple - silly goofy, etc.) He let me pull a purple one out and it talked about how he loves how we riff funny scenarios with each other and how they increasingly become funnier He is the sweetest person I have ever met!

As for the things I got him that I couldn't bring up before - he is obsessed with UFC, so I got him two shirts! The first is Conor McGregor wearing that Gucci mink coat, which is a joke Corey brings up often and I find it hilarious so I had to get the shirt. The other shirt is a picture of Max Holloway absolutely murdering Justin Gaethje at UFC 300, which was a huge moment for Corey and was a must have when searching for his gifts. The other gift was a green Miller trucker hat because he is a bit of a beer connoisseur, plus he really likes hats (-: lastly, I got him a ring that has a chain link ring that spins in the middle of the larger ring band - if that makes sense???? it's basically a cool looking fidget ring. He loved everything and we had such a good anniversary!

I think this is one of the happiest times of my life and that is largely due to Corey. He has helped me heal in so many ways, something I'm incredibly grateful for.

That's all for now!
Byeeee

Hello Hello Hello!

"I wanted to catch you,
But you pulled me like a magnet
And this could have been simple,
But you dragged me through the fire
I don't regret it, no, baby
I don't regret it
Because you taught me a lesson
Now I'm feeling so damn
Lucky, lucky, lucky"

Currently watching a deep dive video on youtube about Amberlynn Reid (iykyk) - some wild stuff honestly. Feeling pretty exhausted from the past few days. Very much looking forward to things slowing down soon so I can catch up on sleep ughhh.
Last weekend my Mom, little sister, boyfriend, and I went to the movies to see Coraline for its 15th anniversary. Was superrrr cool to experience that with my favorite people (-,: before the movie started there were trivia questions about various things in the movie - ngl it fed my ego a little bit knowing all the answers, but it is my comfort movie so it's not that crazy lol. I was a tad worried that my sister wasn't going to like the movie because towards the end it gets a little spooky, but she said she loved it! Felt very nostalgic to watch it with my mom after so many years. We use to have little inside jokes about the movie and they came flooding back afterwards. Speaking of my momma, it's her birthday tomorrow!!! I got her a t-shirt that says "Cool Moms Club", as well as a dainty necklace with flowers engraved in it (-,: I also made her a card that looked like a crossword puzzle since she loves doing those - she's crazy smart! I put everything by the coffee maker so she can find it in the morning, I hope she likes everything. ***EDIT: She said she loved it, shed a few tears over my card, and wore the necklace to work! I love her so much!

Anways, fast forward to this past friday! Corey and I went to one of his friend's birthday party and ooooohhh boy it was somethin' lol! I had an amazing time, but I under-estimated the power of a white claw seltzer! We didn't get home till maybe 5AM and I unfortunately got sick )-,: but bounced back for the most part the next day thankfully. I don't go to parties like that often, so I was quite nervous at first but everyone there were soooo cool! After some drinks and lots of chit-chatting, we started creating short powerpoints about random topics, but the title of the powerpoint had to be a Taylor Swift song since the birthday girl was turning 22 and loves Miss Swifty. Mine was called Fifteen and was about the weird relationship between Millie Bobby Brown and Drake. We all had to present someone elses, but I was feeling too shy for that so Corey agreed to go for me and omgggg he was def a highlight of the night!! He is SOOOO funny!!

ALSOOO Guess what!!!?!?!?
I got tickets to see Remi Wolf in October!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
I'm always keeping up with Remi on instagram, so when I saw that she added some dates to her Big Ideas tour I had to immediately sign up for the pre-sale tickets n everything! Thank god the tickets were decently priced too UGH! This will be my second time seeing her live and I know it's going to be just as magical (if not more) as the first time!! She had super cool stage decor and cute visuals!! There were bubbles everywhere too!! I'm already listening to her every day and making a pinterest board for what I'm gonna wear to the concert teehee!! I am soooo excited!! I'm even more excited over the fact that Corey is going with me. Remi is so funky, I know he's gonna enjoy himself ((-:

In even more recent news, this past sunday I had gone to a local pier that has a bunch of rides on it with my boyfriend and his family. It was my first time meeting some of them, so I was nervous but we ended up having SUCH a good time! I'm scared of roller coasters and any rides that go high up, so I left that to Corey and the others. We walked across the street from the pier and sea wall to get food and it was soo yummy! I tried Corey's pasta that can blue crab in it, which I surprisingly liked a lot. I'm not super into seafood, but I keep seeing those food review videos for those spicy lookin' seafood boils in a bag - OMG they look delicious!!! Overall, a really good day (-:

ALSO ALSO - Corey and I's one year anniversary is on September 2nd and I CAN"T WAIT TO GIVE HIM HIS GIFTS!!!! I'd brag about it on here, but I know he looks at my blog so I can't spoil the surprise! We're still in the works of planning our date (-,: I wanna go out to a restaurant and get a little drinky drink maybeee! I wanna dress all cute and take pictures with hims! It's gonna be so magical and romantic!!

Okayyy that is all for now! Thanks 4 readin' about my silly little life!
Xoxox Tay

Howdy!!

I'm at the coffee shop with my boyfriend, Corey, right now ((-: He's learning to code and make his own website!! When he makes more progress with his site I'll link it for you guys to check out. I'm super excited to see what he comes up with and how it all turns out. He's extremely creative, so I have no doubt that it'll be super cool!! I do hold a lot of bias though cause he's my man and I love every single thing he does lol

In other news, I'm super close to being done with my graduate program application! I wrote my first resume and letter of intent, which was kind of scary because I really had to sell myself. I had to think about my characteristics and qualities that would be desirable by the program, which was a little difficult and I had to do a tad bit of soul searching to figure out. The only things I'm waiting on are my three letters of recommendation, which should be done by the end of next week. I'm shooting to be in the program for the 2025 spring semester, but I won't know if I'm accepted until maybe September I think??? I know it's gonna be a hot minute until I get any news, but I'm feeling confident. My career counselor said the accpetance rate isn't tooooo competitive compared to other psychology related programs, like clinical. I'm doing a mental health counseling program, so it's on the opposite end of the psych spectrum. Something I'm looking forward to is the fact that the program offers a licensure at the end, so I can become completely certified as a counselor and can dive into the work force with more ease! One part I'm VERY nervous about is the practicum I have to do where I'm to practice and be obvserved by a supervisor/professor - sounds like a lot right now, but I know I'll be just fine when the time comes ;-D

On top of taking care of school and career responsibilites, I've been seeing a lot of movies with Corey and my family!! I saw:

Inside Out 2 w/ Mom and sister - 8/10
super cute and made me almost cry a few times. I loved how accurately they expressed having anxiety and all the educational aspects of it! I'm a sucker for child and adolescent psych related things teehee

Longlegs w/ Corey - 7/10
I jumped so many times and had to plug my ears cause things were too LOUD. Overall a really good movie! Nick Cage is scary enough (but very cool) by himself, so putting him in prosthetics and having him yell "DADDDDYYY, MOMMMYYYY!!!!!" is even worse lmaooo I still hear him in my head weeks later!

Despicable Me 4 w/ my Mom, sister, and little cousin - 7.5/10
was a very goofy and cute movie, I loved it!

Twisters w/ Corey & Family - 8/10
I actually REALLLLLYYYY liked it omg I was expecting it to be just like the original (one of my all time fav movies), but the plot was actually soo good!

Deadpool & Wolverine w/ Corey - 9/10
super funny!! We watched the second deadpool movie a few days prior and I feel like I've been missing out on such a goofy series!!

In like a week or so I'm gonna see Coraline in theaters for it's 15th anniversary!! I'm going with Corey, my Mom, and little sister ((-: I'm super excited for my siter to see it for the first time AHHHHH I hope she likes it!!!! It's my comfort movie, so it means a lot to see it like this again. I wish I could've gotten the 3D version, but that's too pricey - BOoOoOOOO!

That's all for now! I'm gonna go play Baldur's Gate 3 with my mans for the rest of the day (-: I've been so obsessed lately omfgggg!! I honestly make Corey do all the battling and I do most of the talking, the fights are too tedious for me a lot of the time. I just want to get invested in the story!

Talk soon xoxox

Hello Blog! A lot has happened!

Currently watching Evil and snacking on some oreo ice cream (-: very happy that things are starting to settle down, these last handful of days have been hectic!
To start, my mom, sister, and I went on a road trip that was suppose to last two weeks. We began the trip by staying at my aunt's house over the weekend before going to Wisconsin to see my grandparents. We planned on leaving super early Monday morning to head north, but not even five minutes on the road when my step dad calls saying Hurricane Beryl was blowing off our roof (very much an exaggeration), so we stopped at a gas station and figured out that we needed to head back home.

We left the following morning and the journey back home was a little crazy. We passed so many gas stations with HUGE lines that would sometimes stretch all the way into the exit ramps! Saw a bunch of semi-trucks hauling telephone poles and shingles, as well as a ton of power company utility trucks from out of state. Was pretty cool seeing others coming in to help. Once we got back home the house was HOT!! Like 90 degrees (F) in my room and every time I'd move around I'd be dripping in sweat - ew. The wind was so bad from the hurricane that we lost a lot of shingles and ended up getting several leaks around one end of the house, but thankfully our neighbor came over and did a really good patch over everything! We had generators and some ac units to help keep our things cool and food fresh too.

My boyfriend Corey also didn't have power at his house, but was getting word that things would be fixed sooner than expected so we ran some errands to pass the time. Anything to not be in the sufficating heat!! Corey's house had running water still, so we freshened up and the power came on right after!! WOOO!! Immediately went back to my place to pack an overnight bag omg I've never packed so fast in my life! I spent maybe three days at his house, but thankfully our power came back on and now I've been trying to settle back into my routine. I honestly slept in a little late today, but tomorrow I'm hoping to run some errands, do a ton of self care, see Corey, and work on more career research. I have another career counselor appointment coming up next week, so I need to get some things done before that (-:

Been feeling a lot more confident in my prepping for my career and whatnot. While we were staying with my aunt's house, we went shopping at an outlet mall and my aunt got me some work pants and a realllly nice silk sage green button-up shirt omg it's so pretty!!! Gonna go shopping with my mom soon to get another top or two and some work shoes ((-: VERY excited!

KByeeee

Heyy there friend!!
I just got back home from my boyfriend's house (-: had a super fun time!! Corey was having fight night for UFC 303, so I decided to join in on the chaos. Thankfully I texted our friend Tori to come have girl time amongst the boys! We talked about sooo much ugh I adore her ♥ I didn't watch all of the fights in close detail, but I def focused when the big one between Pereira v. Procházka (antenna man!!) came on. Was pretty wild, I think Procházka last signal and couldn't see the end coming!! It was so fun seeing Corey's reactions and listening to him analyze fighters with his friends all night. I was even nerding out a tiny bit and started talking about some UFC stuff with Tori, such as goofy ass people like Johnny Walker (cave man dude)!!

In other news, my family, Corey, and I all went to a water park the other day and it was A LOT - not really but it sure did feel like it !! My family doesn't really do stuff like this, so it was something new for everyone. The whole reason we went was because my little sister got a free ticket for doing so well with her reading (she's in 3rd grade and reads on a 5th grade level - I am so unbelievably proud of her, she is so smart and talented and sweet and perfect!!!). We had a really good time, but the lines for the different rides were too long to deal with so we all stayed in the lazy river/rapids. Corey had been to this water park a bunch of times and knew how to have fun, so he guided us in our inner-tubes/floaties down the river. He's a huge reason why we had such a good time, I appreciate him so much!! We even hyped up my sister to do the rapids with us and she loved it! It was really nice seeing my parents have fun and enjoy themselves like that too, made me happy that we could all experience that together. I know this is going to be a core memory for my sister to look back at down the line (-,:

I've been so sentimental lately and seeing Inside Out 2 with my mom and sister earlier today DID NOT HELP!!!!!! it was such a sweet movie omg I was ready to cry 30 minutes in cause I kept imagining my little sister growing up and becoming a teenager )-,: my sweet girl, I don't want her to get bigger, but I am always so excited to see how she develops and discovers herself! Later into the movie I started relating to it more and more, so then I was crying for a different reason UGH It was all so good! Again, it was so nice having a mother-daughters date at the movies. I haven't experienced that with my mom since I was in my early teens I think - jeez! Feeling very thankful for my momma ♥

I also wanted to make note of something that made me feel very happy: my step dad had briefly mentioned wanting flowers for father's day a few weeks prior to the holiday, so I got him REALLY NICE & BEAUTIFUL flowers along with his favorite candy and some sweet tea. Those flowers lasted like two weeks and still looked pretty good when we threw them away recently. When we did get rid of them, my step dad had said "Am I gonna get more? I really like having flowers in the house." I don't know, sometimes I find glimpses of softness in him and it makes me see him differently in a good way. I like that something as simple as fresh flowers makes him happy, it makes me happy. I'm happy I was able to fulfill his wish and make him feel special for father's day ♥

talk soon xoxoxo,
   Tay

OMG Heyyyy!! I just got back from the show and needed to pop in real quick to say I JUST SAW JOAN FUCKING JETT LIVE!!!! and I saw ALANIS MORISSETTE AHHHHH!!!! Absolutely insane and brain altering that I got to experience all of that WITH MY MOM! She had sucha good time too ugh, I'm so grateful that we got to have time alone and could go to something like this. Some other concerts were being advertised and now we're considering seeing 30 Seconds to Mars together! My mom loves Jared Leto (he is actually so terrifying to me, I am being dead serious. That man is not human), so hopefully we get to do that later down the line! I also saw Korn was playing around my birthday and immediately had to tell Corey. He brought up getting tickets as an early birthday present so DEFINITELY hoping the best for that!

Anyways, that is all. Joan Jett is a goddess and to be in her presence is a blessing. Alanis Morissette is a national treasure and should be protected at all costs!

K byee xoxox

Hellllooo!! It's been a minute since I've touched my site!

I hope you're doing well and takin' care of yourself! I've been doing fairly well, I feel like A LOT has happened between my last post and now jeeez. I finished up my last semester of college in early May, took the rest of the month off to relax and celebrate which mostly consisted of catching up on sleep and going to doctors appointments - kinda suckyy.

In the midst of the moderate chaos my boyfriend, Corey, and I went a Melanie Martinez concert and OH MY GODDD when I tell you the whole show was INCREDIBLE I truly mean it from the deepest corners of my soul!!! A few days prior I had found out that Beach Bunny and Men I Trust were opening for Melanie and I about freaked tf out AHHH THEY WERE SO GOOD AND EMMA PROULX SOUNDED SO BEAUTIFUL LIVE!!!! Melanie's whole set was practically a theatrical performance - absolutely blown away by everyone on stage! It was so cool seeing other people's outfits from different eras of Melanie. The only things that sucked was my 30-something dollar margarita AND having to stand the whole time Mel performed. Girl my feet were HURTIN' in the end dear god... I'm gettin' too old for this. Anyways, that definitely became one of my top favorite shows next to Papa Roach and Remi Wolf. That might change soon cause my mom and I are going to see Joan Jett and Alanis Morissette! A little nervous, like the pre-show jitters, but I'm super excited to have this experience! It's fuckin' Joan Jett!!! & Alanis Morissette!!! Also my first concert with my mom, so I'm feeling super grateful and excited for that, I love her so much! I love when I can find ways for our interests to blend together, like when I got her into animal crossing and now she finishes and restarts islands all the time. I could go on about her for hours ugh!

Onto more recent news, I've been making moves within developing my career path. DOn't have that much of an idea of what I'm doing, but research and finding resources for discussion are moves forward. I made an appointment with a career coach later this week so I can get some guidance on which direction to take. Really hope they don't make me take a bunch of assessments cause I've done em all! One that I took today looked at my career readiness and my results were on par with the expectation scores for average employers; TLDR - I've pretty damn competent and prepared when it comes to general skills needed in the workforce, very cool stuff. Another assessment I looked at simulated the salary I would need based on certain lifestyle choices and I ended up needed like $66k to afford everything and that was with the options of a studio apartment, basic ass necessities to live, paying off student debt, and putting a little bit into savings selected. LIVING IS TOO EXPENSIVE - what's new?

To combat the never ending stress of life, I've been hangning out with some friends! My anxiety has been rough lately, so I made a vision board with some affirmations, manifesting pics, role models, and personality aesthetic pics to help me have a better mindset. I showed it off to my friend Korrin and we immediately made plans to make some together! I had saved so many pics to my vision board on pinterest, so making a second one was already in the plans (i honestly might make another...). Korrin brought some extra supplies and we got BUSY! It was so fun catching up and getting crafty together (-: we're gonna finish them next week! I also got to see my friend Mark today AHHH!!! It's always a good time when we're together, always picking up right where we left off! We mostly yapped about a bunch of stuff and got caught up on things going on, the usual for us!

Okie that is all for noww!! Gonna go binge watch Jenna & SNooki and pack my overnight bag for my bf's house tomorrow AHHH!!! practically living there at this point - I'm only coming home when he's working, I need to get stuff done, or his schedule is too crazy to work with!

Xoxo bye,
   Tay

Hello! I feel like so much has happened since I last posted, but at the same time I feel like NOTHING has happened. Lots of ups and downs between being very busy and very lazy.

So to start, I GOT SICK TWICE IN A ROW! I had mentioned the first time I got sick in my last post, which ended up taking me like a week and a half to finally start feeling better. Then my mom caught a cold from work and I immediately got it too omggg pure hell!! Thankfully I got over it within a week, but damn getting hit two times in a row was rough.

In the short time between getting sick again I had my first therapy session, which was mostly a consultion to see where I'm at on things and what my goals are. I was super stressed about potentially not liking my therapist, especially because my past experiences with other therapist were not the greatest. Thank the lord this woman is super nice and funny ommggg we immediately clicked and she was super into how prepared and self aware I was towards wanting guidance on things. Feeling very confident that she can help me process things and form that better version of myself (-:

I have such HORRIBLE health anxiety and I constantly think there are serious things wrong with me, so I ripped the band-aid off and decided to make an appointment with my lady doctor to get a well women's check up. Everything seemed to be falling into place once I made the appointment online, but the other day I got an appointment confirmation email that was immediately followed up with a voice mail from the office saying they couldn't do my original appointment date and that I need to reschedule. I called sooooo many times to reschedule and kept getting sent to their voice mail ughhh!!! Like girl I get you guys are busy, but not a single person picked up in the seven times I called over two days.... BUT today I called once again and finally got things handled. I usually HATE talking on the phone to make appointments and stuff, but lately I've just overcome this fear??? sorta?? I don't know, but I'm very proud of myself for adulting with severe anxiety weighing on my chest constantly.

In other news, I'm attending my very last day of class for the semester! I can't believe I'm graduating next month and moving into a new chapter of my life. I've been day dreaming about these goals for so long and to be getting closer and closer to them feels surreal, exciting, and scary. I'm excited to be making money that will be put towards moving out! Excited to find my own rhythm with living on my own! Excited to create a space that promotes further growth! It is going to be stressful annd overwhelming and exhausting, but it's also empowering and exhilarating. I'm also very excited to be going through these steps with my boyfriend, Corey !!

That is all for now (-: I'm gonna go home and take a longggg nap. I've been super into watching Evil (Michael Emerson is a terrifying man) and that new Fallout show (Michael is everywhere... help!). Crazy how the fallout universe has become super popular again, but no amount of attention will ever make Fallout 76 interesting and playable!!

K byeeee,
   Tay xoxox

Howdy there! Long time, no blog!

I've been sick for the past two weeks and I'm finally starting to feel better. About two weeks ago I had met up with my lovely friend Cam and their sister, Lyndsey. It was my first time meeting Lyndsey and omggg I love her so much AHHH!! Truly my missing puzzle piece, life now feels more complete. I'm like Thanos with the infinity stones, I just keep collecting all these amazing people (-,: Anyways, while hanging out we got on the topic of no nicotine vapes and they had showed me this herbal (?) no nic vape that Lyndsey said tastes like jasmine. Of course I had to take a hit and that is where I made my mistake LOL it tasted like grape for one, but two - Cam thought they had gotten over a recent cold, but unfortunately I caught said cold. DEAR GOD it was kinda rough!! My physical symptoms, like the congestion and cough, weren't that bad but the brain fog, fatigue, and overall weakness was pretty crazy. The last time I got sick was maybe two or so years ago when I had caught covid for the first and only time (thank the lord) and that wasn't tooo bad, so this was on par with that.

The SHITTY part about all of this was I couldn't see my boyfriend )))-,: He stopped by in the beginning to delivery me some meds and yummy subway - my sweet mans is always takin' care of me! But I kept my distance and quarantined so he wouldn't get sick too.

In the midst of being sick, my long-time friend Bryce was in the process of packing up and moving to another state so OF COURSE I had to see him and say my goodbyes ))-: We met up for lunch and ended up talking in my car for HOURS!! It was very cleansing, therapeutic, healing, and gave me closure in some ways. I've been reflecting on life a lot lately, which has resulted in me feeling all sorts of ways. Like duh I've been growing up for years now, but the reality of it all has been setting in hardcore - especially after seeing my friend leave to start a new chapter in their life. I'm finishing school super soon, starting therapy again, and making all the moves to get my career in order (somehow idk what I'm doing ever tbh).

As scary as life is with its endless changes and bumps in the road, I'm still excited to move through it. I'm excited to see how I overcome things and how it encourages my growth. I hope it allows me to learn how to become more secure and comfortable with the unknown - that's what scares me the most.

On a more recent note, Corey and I watched Roadhouse today and I give it like an 8 or 8.5/10 - a huge part of that is due to Conor McGregor looking fuckin' crazyyyy, like coked out ready to kill crazy lol I loved it! In the beginning of our relationship Corey had told me one of his hobbies is UFC, so as a supportive girlfriend I immediately started learning some things about that world so I could understand the things he tells me better. I WASN"T EXPECTING TO BECOME FULLY INVESTED and now I get UFC videos all over my social media feed !!! I knew I was in deep when I searched all over tik tok looking for someone streaming the 299 O'Malley v. Vera fight - ended up watching the whole thing in SPANISH!! was sick as fuck though.

anywayyyys, I'm gonna go eat some yummy eggs that my little sister and I decorated for easter ((-: gonna try watching more of The Boys (corey also got me into that - I'm a changed woman now because of him, can't complain) I'm only on the second episode but damn its crazy already!!

BYE LOVELIESSS XOXOXO

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Currently in my gender identity psych class lol we're watching a movie on how children understand gender labeling and stereotypes - very interesting, but I'm too tired to fully pay attention so you know the drill lmao time to blog!!

Anyways, little update! This past weekend my boyfriend and I had a lovely time away to celebrate the lovey dovey holiday. He had rented us a reallllly nice airbnb, got me SO MANY heartfelt gifts - I'm so spoiled. One of the gifts he got me was this heart shaped glass-like figurine that had an engraved picture of us from our first concert on the inside. He also had a sweet quote engraved next to the picture that says, "music sounds better when I'm with you, and I never want to miss a beat" OH MY GOD the amount of crying I did ahhhhh!! It also came with a little light up stand, so I love having it on to add some color to my room! He also got me TWO cards, one was labeled "cool card" and it was a bouqet of roses that popped up when you open it. He thought it was really pretty so he had to get it for me, duhhh! The other one was labeled "sweet card" and he had written THE SWEETEST LITTLE LETTER for me inside - this almost made me ugly cry. Of course he got me flowers, which I have been obsessed with omg they smell soooo good. SOme of them have started withering, like the hydrangeas, so I've started the flower pressing and drying process. I bundled up the roses and hung them up on my wall - I hope they dry out nicely.

While at the airbnb, we watched movies and goofed around a bunch. We closed off the outside world, so it felt so nice just existing together. I kept day dreaming about how it would be to live together after spending the whole weekend with each other. That's a goal for much further down the road, but it's still sweet to think about. The house was quite small and we kept talking about how we could make it work and how the open layout was really nice.

Sunday morning, Corey got up early to cook me breakfast. He woke me up with lots of kisses and an already made plate of eggs, bacon, and toast (my fav). He did such a good job, everything was SO YUMMY!! The night before, he had bought us tickets to the aquarium and omfg I was SO EXCITED!!! I got all dolled up and felt soooo cute (-,: Corey looked so handsome too! I got him a matching ring and necklace set that he wore on our little date!

While at the aquarium, we saw penguins, sharks, seals, rays, starfish, and soooo much more! I was FREAKING TF OUT over the sharks - they swam up super close to the glass a few times which was crazyyy to see! Every since I was little, I have always been obsessed with sharks and I frequently have said I want to swim with them at some point in my life. No idea if that will happen though, def insane but who knows. We also got to see some jelly fish!! They had a ton of moon jellies, which is one of my favorites as well. There were a ton of other fish, but I had no clue what they were besides the clown fish (Nemo) and the blue tangs (Dory). I was hoping to see an octopus or some sea horses, but they didn't have any unfortunately. I believe we also saw some nursing sharks - they were so pretty!! Once we were done, we went to the gift shop and got a few things. Corey found a SICK octopus necklace and I found the cutest sea horse necklace and jelly fish hanging decor that I LOVEE!! We were there for like... 2 hours?? idk but we both got hit with a wave of tired and decided to get lunch and go home.

This is when the sucky part happened... We got some Sonic since it was the easiest to get. I was so excited to eat my popcorn chicken and fries ughhh, but after eating like half of it I started feeling sooo gross inside. Corey left to get me ibuprofen, which helped for a while but then I got REALLY nauseous and anxious. I'm SUCH a cry baby and will get emotional over just about anything (I be cryin' when I miss corey too much) and of course I ended up crying about my upset stomach. We had plans for Corey to cook us burgers for dinner, but because I didn't feel good and nothing was going to plan, I just cried lol bless Corey and all his patience cause I was such a mess. He was so sweet, understanding, and gentle with me through it all. We tried tums, but that didn't really help. We watched the whole super bowl (usher's performance was actually soooo cool omg - h.e.r. really popped off on that guitar) and i STILL did not feel good. Corey was like, "we've tried just about everything hon... I think you're gonna have to get everything out of your stomach. I know you don't want to, but it's been hours..." I agreed and proceeded to barf lol it was TRAUMATIC! I felt kinda better, but still not that great. I was even more anxious because at this point it's almost midnight and we needed to get up early the next day to clean the place up and leave before checkout @ 11am. ALL OF THE SUDDEN I remembered I had Dramamine in my purse.... I told Corey and he was just like SMH really?!? I took it and didn't feel that much better, but it made me sleepy enough to not feel so anxious and allowed me to actually sleep for a few hours. It wasn't until maybe two or so days later that I actually started to feel normal again. My whole body was sore from being so tense and upset ugh! Corey and I are pretty convinced that the Sonic is what messed me up cause he said he also felt kinda gross on the inside after eating it, just not as bad as me lol.

Besides being held hostage by my stomach and being a complete crybaby, I still had SUCH AN AMAZING TIME AHHH!!!! Corey went above and beyond to make this weekend happen for us, so I'm forever grateful for that. This is the type of treatment I have always dreamed about. I can't lie, I love that princess treatment from him lol but I also make sure to spoil him as much as I can. I forgot to mention that I wrote a FIVE page love letter to him with a bunch of kisses all over the pages! He loved it and def shed a few tears afterwards (-,: he's so sweet. We constantly give each other everything we've ever wanted and so much more - always healing various parts of each other. I'm very lucky to have a man like him. On actual Valentine's Day, Corey had to work a late shift so he came over a few hours beforehand and we had very yummyyy chick-fil-a! Thir siracha sauce is literal crack!! Afterwards, we watched more of this HILARIOUS Half Life series that I found years ago and randomly decided to show Corey. We eventually got sleeepy and took the best nap ever ugh!

Anyways, class is almost over so I must go! I'm prob gonna get a little loosey goosey and binge watch more Grey's Anatomy. I'm likeeee half way through season 11 and UGH so much has happened. I'm gonna be left feeling sad and empty when I finally finish the whole show - what will I hyper fixate on next??

OKAY BYEEEE,
     X0XxOXo Tay