Howdy partner, how's it goin'?? I hope all is well (-:

I'm doing decent, could be much worse so I'm thankful it's not. I've been feeling so tired, unmotivated, and a bit anxious the past handful of days. Yesterday was my first day of my masters program and it went well. My first class was lifespan development at 4pm and it made me sooooo much more sleepy than I already was, UGH! The first day was on zoom so I was cozy comfy in my room, which also made me even more tired. We did introductions and all of my classmates are so cool! Such a diverse group with so many different backgrounds and experiences. I wrote down a few names to remember so I can meet them in person next week when we go to campus. One person does art therapy, so I really want to connect with them since I also would like to become certified in art therapy when I become a licensed counselor. Another person has experience volunteering for a crisis hot line like me, so I want to connect with them about that too! We mostly just went over course expectations and semester schedule and all the first day of school kind of things. My second class was orientation to counseling that started at 7pm, which at first I wasn't very excited for. The break between classes made me realize just how tired I was and how I didn't feel good, so I felt really low going into the meeting but my professor is the director for the whole program and he's SUPER funny, energetic, personable, empathetic, wise, informative, etc.! He really lifed my spirits and kept me going for the rest of the meeting, so I'm looking forward to our time for the rest of the semester. I really respect and admire his approach to things, I would like to have a similar way of being once I become an LPC. He is super encouraging as well, I feel like I'm in good hands and have a great support system within this program (-,: anywho, we went over similar things with the course expectations and stuff. So far I'm really liking all of the assignments for the semester. Lots of essays of course, but that's a given lol for one essay, I will have to take a quote or theme of a specific story and explain it to a hypothetical client that is in a certain stage of development, like adolesence or adulthood. The way you explain something to an adult isn't exactly the way you would for a child, so I have to be able to discuss and reflect on that. That's one thing I like about these courses is my professors really emphasize the importance of reflecting on things, so we have weekly journal prompts we have to respond to that we can look back on over our time in the program. I'm SUPERRRR into journaling, so this is right up my alley! Admittedly I am a bit overwhelmed by all the change and adjustment. I haven't been in school for about a year and a half, which I don't think has THAT much of an impact but I didn't quite expect to have to adjust this much if that make sense??? I also have two courses for this environmental sociology psych certificate I'm trying to get on the side, so I'm gonna be like a full time student with four classes going on - it feels like a lot to take in after being in my usual routine for so long. I don't know, it's all to be expected and can be overcome. I just need to get into the groove of things and then everything else will fall into place like it should. I have lots of faith in myself that this semester will be great!

In other news, it was Tannir's birthday this last weekend!! Technically it was on monday, but we celebrated on sunday and it was sucha wonderful time together!! I sat with her and watched her open all of her presents, which there were MANY because she is so loved ***** I am SOOOOO bummed that I couldn't give her all of her gifts at once )))-,: I ordered things about a week or so ago, but they still haven't come UGH!! I won't spill the beans on what I got her in case she's reading this (HELLOOO!! *****) lol but she did get to see the metal hello kitty lunch box I got her! She likes the mustache trend aesthetic from like... what 2013??? I feel so old ******* but that ;unchbox is from that little era and I loved that trend omg I had a mustache duct tape wallet, mustache necklace, mustache everything! Anywho, I found the lunchbox while organizing my room and immediately though of Tannir (-: I also found my old tattoo chokers and gave them to her, felt like a better home for them. I also got her a Heathers movie shirt since it's one of her favorite movies ****** She said she really loved everything I got her and now I'm super excited for her to see the rest of the things I picked out! If only it would come in the mail alreadyyyy!!!!

Corey's birthday is coming up at the end of the month and I'm super excited for that - the big 25!!

Things I'm thankful for right now:
- deep, vulnerable conversations with friends; the beauty in compassion and communication; getting weight off our chests
- the fact that when I have a problem I know i have the means to get it fixed
- gift giving!!! celebrating!!!
- drawing flowers and bugs in my journal
- working on my website; updating things!
- watching Fallout with Corey; weekends in general with Corey
- my mom calling me when she gets off work
- catching up with my little sister when I pick her up from school
- my new candle warmer
- starting my program
- having a therapist!
- taking better care of myself; gradually gaining better habits
- my mother-daughter journal with my mom
- my cats!
- coconut coffee
- apples & sunflower seeds

Hello Hello - Welcome to the new blog page for 2026!!!

I'm fairly content with how it looks right now, but that might change over time. Been working on various features of my website, especially my new homepage that should be up when this blog is posted. I've always been HEAVILY inspired by my best friend's website. I'm sure you've seen his site before since it's on the first page when browsing the list of special sauce neocities sites!! I feel so cool and honored that I know Bryce and that his work gets recognized daily (..◜ᴗ◝..) So yeah, I took a lot of inspiration from his MySpace themed homepage, as well as modern SpaceHey pages I found while looking for an aesthetic on Pinterest. Very pleased with how it's coming along. I adore my original homepage as it really reflected my interests and personality at the time with the ocean theme, but a few years have passed since I created it and it's starting to feel outdated. I want my website to represent my most current version of myself, so an update was desprately needed.

With the new year having arrived, I've been doing a TON of deep cleaning in my room so it feels right doing a revamp to my websiteas well. Everything feels refreshing now that I've reorganized and decluttered. I still need to tackle my closet (╥﹏╥) That's gonna be a whole event because I store EVERYTHING in there. I bought some storage bins to help make things more neat and tidy. I'm hoping to fill maybe a bag or two of donation clothes. Some things I'm VERY sentimental about and refuse to get rid of, but many things I'm able to let go of and it feels sooooo good doing so - like it's cleansing my environment and soul to part with what no longer serves me.

I start my masters program next tuesday and I'm both super excited, but also very nervous. I keep reminding myself that being nervous is to be expected because it's a new journey with lots of new people, but I'm looking forward to mingling and connecting with my peers! My program directors were saying connection with your peers is a really useful resource to have while progressing through the program as it will help with navigating various areas of the work as a therapist.

In more recent news, Christmas and New Years was great!! Corey (my boyfriend) and I had a very busy holiday season with our family - did secret santa with my dad's side of the family on christmas eve, which was a super heartwarming having everyone together. They love and adore Corey, which makes me feel so so happy and proud!! I'm happy that they see what I see - that he's so kind, caring, outgoing, thoughtful, FUNNY, and super smart!
On our way home Corey and I looked at christmas lights on all the houses and had many laughs about the grinch being a criminal lol when we got back to his house we decided to open the gifts we got each other since we weren't sure when we would have time on christmas day. We got each other such great things!!!! I got him versace cologne, some plain acid wash shirts, screen cleaner cause he's a tech guy lol, and an RC toy boat!! He has this little santa RC boat that didn't go very fast, but he loved driving it around the big pond he has, so I bought him a FAST little red speed boat. He showed it off to his friends and now one of them is getting themselves a boat so they can race them together ˙ᵕ˙ FUNNNNN!!!! Corey got me the vinyl soundtrack to one of my fav movies - Dirty Dancing, a BEAUTIFUL necklace that has his birthstone on it, an accupunture pressure point mat, a flippin' Remi WOlf shirt (AhHHH!!), cute & fun earrings, some delicous smelling candles!! I really appreciate the effort he puts into getting me special things like that cause no other partner has paid that much attention to all my interests like that. I've had a lot of firsts with him, he makes the old bad stuff good and new again. NOW I CANT WAIT FOR HIS BDAY ON THE 30TH!!! I can't wait to celebrate him and give him more gifts!!! (we're exactly three months apart - oct 30th & jan 30th)

Christmas day was eventful and sentimental for us. Opened presents with my parents and little sister in the morning, which was so much fun. I got my dad a cooling fan that can clip to his belt for when he's mowing the lawn or doing projects outside! Got my mom a new book nook project - cafe street in paris themed! My little sister loves all the butterflies and vines in my room, so I got her similar decor for us to put up together in her room! Very thankful for the gifts I received, especially the mother-daughter journal that my mom got for her and I. At first I was like aww this is so cute, but then I noticed she filled out a few pages already and I immediately cried after reading a few things - like how nervous she felt bringing me home from the hospital when I was born, but that I was such a beautiful baby. Some moments she wrote something funny, other moments were vulnerable between us which means so much to me. She kept a journal when she was pregant with me and would write about her daily life and how excited she was to meet me. I read it here and there and it brings me to tears reading how much love she has for me before I even took my first breath. I absolutely adore my mom in a way that doesn't compare to anything else. I'm very nostalgic and sentimental, so having this physical journal that showcases our connection means more to me than anyone will ever know. ANYWHO lol not to get too sappy, this holiday season was extra special. I kept telling everyone how thankfully every year has been great in the past, but this year was just extra wonderful and full of love. I'm in a strong and healthy relationship with the man of my dreams, I'm closer than ever with my family, I'm getting my masters degree and moving towards my dream job, I'm healthy mentally and physically, I've matured so much that it's allowed me to overcome obstacles and past differences, I have lovely friends and have reconnected with some in such a powerful and moving way, etc. I feel rich in life when I'm surrounded by so much love and support. Dear God, thank you ♥

Part of what made this holiday season extra special was having another christmas with Corey's side of the family. His dad and I have gotten closer and it means so much to me to have such a solid trusting foundation with him. He is so kind and accepting of me, I feel very at home when he's around. I really admire the relationship he has wth Corey, lets me know how wonderful of a father Corey will be one day. I believe last year I was introduced to his dad's girlfriend, Shawn, and her daughter, Tannir, and it's been such a blessing getting to know them and form all these memories together. I love and admire those two so much! Spending the evening with them on christmas day meant so much to me. As usual, Shawn and I had various deep and vulnerable conversatons about life, our values, experiences, etc. I appreciate having such discussions with another deep thinker, especially because she's a former therapist so she really understands me. Spent time with Tannir too! She got a perler bead kit for christmas, so we worked on that together & I made a little dragonfly. It's my lucky dragonfly now because it was crafted with love with one of my fav people! I got lovely gifts from them, one being a "Dear God, thank you" desk sign. Although I'm not super religious (I'm agnostic and don't quite know what to believe in), it meant a lot recieveing that from Shawn because these past few months have been so rough on my mental health. I was in a really dark place and it got to a point that I was praying to anything out there to show me some kind of mercy or give me strength to perservere. Shawn also said grace during Thanksgiving and christmas dinner and her words were very impactful for me, almost bringing me to tears because it was the love, support, and hope that I needed to hear at the time. Looking forward to more holidays and happy moments spent together ૮₍｡´ᴖ ˔ ᴖ`｡₎ა

Anywho, that is all for now. This weekend is Tannir's birthday and I'm really looking forward to giving her the gifts I picked out for her. Some of them might not get here on time )-,: but the main one is here that I'm REALLY excited for her to see! I hope she likes it! Also gonna go see my best friend Tori and her mom on friday so we can exchange christmas gifts. I'm looking forward to having some girl time with them, especially since last time we tried I wasn't feeling good at all and had to leave very early - booooo!!

Wishing you a happy new year that is filled with all the joy and success you're seeking, as well as all the hidden blessings life brings.
Take care!
Xoxo,
Tay ♥